Thought no.55 – I want to make videos

Every single time I watch Becoming Youtube I am always inspired to start youtubing. The newest episode yesterday was no different. I would love to create youtube videos. I ideally would make artistic videos, maybe short films, things similar to what Kickthepj does. I think I have realised I enjoy telling stories and well I only ever do that in writing but I think I would like to try in video. I have all these ideas in my head, I can see the videos I want to create but I don’t know how to create them and I don’t want have to made crappy versions of them. I want them to be good but I don’t have the ability to.

I know everyone has to start somewhere, even on youtube. But I don’t want to start with making terrible videos. I want to be able to make these ideas in my head. I want to make good quality content. I don’t care about the subscribers I care about making good videos and I don’t know how to do it. I just wish that I could. I wish I had the ability to be able to make the videos in my head real. Or I wish I just didn’t care that my videos were terrible quality.

That’s the problem with youtube, alongside the divide between viewer and creator, is that want-to-be-creators wish to make something of similar quality to those that that are watching but don’t know how and so never try. I don’t want to make a terrible job of the ideas I have, I don’t want to see what I have created and realise it is nothing like the image in my head. I wish I had the courage to try though, or I had the persistence to keep on trying until I got better. I am my worst enemy. But all my ideas are of a high standard and I want to meet that. So every time I am inspired to create videos it angers me immensely to know that I want to so much but just cannot meet the expectations in my head.

Thought no.5 – Becoming Youtube

Becoming Youtube, a documentary series by Benjamin Cook. Before today’s episode it has been primarily focusing on the youtube community and whatnot. I’m not someone to generally watches or enjoys documentaries, but his youtube documentary was engaging to me as an audience, as well as thought provoking and entertaining. After each episode I was always left with thinking back upon what has been discussed within the video. I wasn’t focusing on the sketches or anything like that, I was always focusing on the message. Which is truly remarkable and so often in documentaries, or youtube videos, I’m not truly listening to what they are saying especially if it’s going to be 20+ minutes. But the videos exposed youtube to as what it is, and some people didn’t like this, but it showed me a side to youtube that was always there but I wasn’t seeing.

The newest video, uploaded today – was about what’s happening in Syria. I’ll be honest, I knew bad things were happening but I had never the urge to find out more. I have this think where I don;t like to read the news or watch it because it is always reporting on something sad or distressing, or showing me how horrible my world is, and I don’t like to see that. Making me rather sheltered. The video was amazing, it was insightful, engaging, thought provoking but also entertaining. I didn’t feel as if I was watching something to get me to give money and to get me the feel things, goddamit, I was watching something, by someone who understood how perhaps our generation has been desensitised to all of this charity work and poverty and whatnot. I was watching something that genuinely made me feel and think, and it wasn’t done in a way that it was being shoved down my throat, or being over dramatised and pulling out all the stereotypical effects.

I was being shown the truth. It wasn’t being glamorised or over-exaggerated, or anything like that, it was truthful and shown to be a real problem with real people, being shown to me by real people who understood that just shoving something at me wasn’t going to make me feel something. That showing me the truth and also making it entertaining was going to engage me more. It was a true eyeopener. I still may not understand what is happening in Syria, but I know how it is affecting the people, and I know that they need help, but most importantly they need to be heard. I am glad I listened.