University Thoughts – We Were Friends Once

When we first met we were both young and innocent and the world was exciting to us. We were ready for a fresh start; to say goodbye to what we had once seen and knew. You were merely a boy and I a girl, yet I think we found a sense of one another in each other. I wouldn’t go so far as to say kindred spirits, and I don’t believe in fate or destiny but almost our friendship was meant to be. I think we were meant to be friends.

But you aren’t that boy anymore, and I am not that girl. We’ve seen more things, we’ve been through more things. We struck a cord with one another but then without either of us realising we brought knives into play, and stuck them into our friendship. One that was once so pure and real and strong and right. We lodged those knives into one another and since then have done nothing but push and twist them. The wound dripping blood and tainting the memories that I had once cherished.

When I look at you now I do not see that boy anymore. I do not seem him at all, I cannot find that friend in there anymore, because you are not him. And you don’t see the girl that I was either. We were once in sync, our friendship and our lives side by side but now we’ve dispersed and too much has happened, the knife has gone in so deep that it had to be taken out. The blood isn’t dripping on what was once our friendship, it’s covered it, and it’s gone, soaked in red.

We are not the same people we were when we first met. I look at you and I don’t see him, you may as well be a stranger to me now. It’s wrong because you wear his skin and I wear hers, but they left, we aren’t those people anymore. And its all rather melancholy, to stand opposite one another where smiles and laughter and happiness and secrets and adventures were once shared, and now it’s just stale air of two strangers, who carry bags of tainted memories.

Thought no.143 – I’ve changed

Have you ever become so acutely aware that you have changed? I was meeting up with some friends from my secondary, close friends, but we haven’t talked for over a month and I go to college now so hardly ever see/talk to them. But I realised the way I thought about things, the way I reacted to them was different. Being around my college friends being the way I am comes naturally and it feels fine when I am around my old friends why does it suddenly feel as if what I am doing isn’t natural and feels wrong around them. I know have changed, it just never seems so wrong before. I felt like my changes were bad around them because they know who I once was and of course to them the changes seem sudden because they only see me now an again but they aren’t I have gradually changed as people do. It just so happens that it seems like a big leap when I am around them because who I once was is still so close to the front of our memories. People change, that is what happens and change is good but why do I feel so bad about it?

Thought no.43 – Humanity

Our world is a strange place and we are so often bombarded with how horrible we are as humans in how we treat our environment and each other. The News is more of a mirror than a window, as it reflects back to us what we truly are and is trying to make us learn and make us want to change our reflection. Yet we see the news as a window so do not feel as if we must make a stand as we are not the problem, we are not the change, we are just bystanders. We see a window a window to a world we believe we are separate from. When really what we are seeing is ourselves.

So with this knowledge I often forget that there is good in this world, there are those who are trying to make a change. I often forget that each of us have the power to make a change. Though other’s believe that that use of power is about opening the window and just shouting out at what they see. That I am afraid will only get you so far and is likely to cause more problems. Most importantly it won’t work because the problem in not a window to shout out of it is a mirror. As Gandhi once said “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”