University Thoughts – Review

I’m alone once again in the house as I wait till Monday to leave for Easter, And even then I’m not going straight home, I’m in London for a few days for work experience and then I’m come for a couple of days then I’m back.

Second Semester has gone just as fast as the first has, and with it of course has been a billion and one negatives. But I don’t want to focus on them. I always focus on them, I have had to live them, I don’t want to waste so much time reliving them as well. They were difficult enough I don’t want to continually torture myself. I do that enough so let me just take a couple of minutes to remember and reflect on the good. Because at the end of the day they are the memories I want to cherish and fixate on. (to be fair i should really do this reflection when I’m back after easter because i’m only back for a month, but I want to do it now.)

Second Semester, you gave me a late night trip up to the cathedral in my pajamas, late night walks, a film in a night, numerous drunk nights (most of which blur into one or can’t be remembered), an ftv drinking social, an ftv quiz social, a night of drunk baking, just baking in general, pin the tail on wayne the spliff donkey, an australian themed house party in liverpool with Laura before she left, late night adventure to a park with Nicola and Sara, the discovery of massive bop-it with Emma, Steve the swede, the aiden turner calendar, disney sing alongs in the living room, dancing in the living room, playing Zombies with Rachel, going to nandos and getting desert with Rachel, dying Alicia’s hair, dying Sara’s hair, dying Nicola’s hair, dying my own hair ginger, snapchat filters and captioning them to eachother, doing a modelling photoshoot, going to mcdonalds far too much, drunk kerplunk, the party light, girls night at Tyler’s with the mattresses downstairs watching romcoms with facemasks on and a shit tonne of food, chilli night, filming for Joes film, giving birth for Joe’s film, filming  for Toby’s film, filming my own short film, finishing my short film, getting the smoke machine for my own film, staying up late just to talk about bridges for some unknown reason, getting addicted to the facebook games, going to the arcades, quiz night with my old flatmates, having singles night with Sara, trips to toys r us, eskimoos, try not to laugh game with water in our mouths, the house party that was both the best and worst thing ever, media research group presentation group meetings, the ugly bug ball, film nights with the house, long stints in the edit suite, going to the pub when the sun came out, doing work in the sun, nerf gun war, going to parallax for a film screening, the continuous ripping between myself and my friends, all the new inside jokes that we’ve created, still continuing to jump out at each other and just domestic life as a whole.

Because to be fair at the end of the day, it was the small things. Silly things that I can’t quite remember or have only just remembered now that gave me such joy. I find when I look at things as a whole, I find it underwhelming, disappointing, but I look. really look and remember, I can say it was pretty alright. Naturally there were blips, and tears, and arguments, and mistakes, and a billion and other bad things. But it was still good. I’ve still had fun and been happy between the bad and that’s what counts.

University Thoughts – Focus on the Good Memories

Although there are many things that I never did in my first year of University like sitting on a rooftop late at night, or doing laundry in the early hours of the morning, working in the library into the next day, sitting on a patch of grass with a group of friends, leave an essay to the night before, or going on a date, or falling in love. Or a lot of the stereotypical things associated with University.

I did still actually do a lot: I lived with a bunch of strangers and became friends with them, played swivel chair hockey, frying pan tennis, pumpkin bowling, made a fort, had a water fight, went for late night walks, stayed up into the early hours of the morning talking with friends, made multiple late night mcdonalds trips, had an impromptu flat party, got pushed around in a trolley, got freshers flu, had a late night cry with a friend, made friends with strangers, got complimented in a bathroom, threw up in multiple toilets and even on the high street, had horrible hangovers, made drunken mistakes, kissed strangers, kissed friends, gone on walks to discover somewhere new, had deep conversations, been chased by a goose, gone out for meals with friends, celebrated birthdays, went to a student night at a playzone, had study sessions in the library, had weeks with hardly any sleep, weeks with too much sleep, skipped lectures, made 9 ams when I went out the night before, spent whole lectures sitting at the back playing around instead of listening, joined societies, stopped going to societies, joined a gym, quit the gym, won a filming competition, made a short film, worked for hours straight in an edit suite, made a tv show, filmed in a castle prison, wrote tonnes of essays, did group presentations, watched new things, went to the cinema,  tried new things, purposely did something out of my comfort zone, did yoga, just sat and gossiped, had prank wars, lived with a traffic barrier in the flat and a road sign, decorated the flat for Christmas, went out for a Christmas meal, made pancakes for people on pancake day, went out on a pub crawl, cleaned a drain, lost my purse, broke my phone so had to use a crappy nokia, had a flat meal, made friends, made a university family. Laughed until it hurt, cried so much it felt like I was dying, made mistakes, but made a million more memories.

No matter how much I’ve been remembering the bad this week, those bad memories sticking more in my brain than the good. If I look back and truly think the good have by far outweighed the bad, and I’ve actually had a pretty amazing first year. Sure I’ve already forgotten a lot of what has happened these past eight months, and I’ve been spending this past week feeling nostalgic and sad and tired and alone, though looking back I can’t help but smile. It’s been an indescribable eight months and it’s sad to say goodbye to being a fresher. It’ll be hard moving out on Monday knowing I won’t be living here in this room again or with the same people, but this September will bring a new year of University and if it can provide me with memories like it has done this year, even the bad, then I look forward to it. I’m sad to say goodbye, but finally beginning to look forward to what else life has to bring me.

University Thoughts – Last Few Weeks

I am in my final few weeks of University. My first year is almost up and I can’t quite believe it. It has gone by so fast, that’s the thing you go to University and you’re trapped inside this little bubble and you don’t quite realise that time is passing and then suddenly… its almost over.

Everything still seems so surreal. I often have moments where I still don’t believe that this is real. Especially when I go home, because it feels as if this life is all made up. Even being here in the moment I still can’t process that this is real life. And the fact that it is almost over, that’s the strangest thing of all. I feel like I have been here forever but also that I have hardly been here at all. I don’t know whether I’ve made memories that I’ll cherish forever, I already feel like I’ve forgotten so much; everything is just blurring into one.

Today for example, was the first time that my flat actually ever cooked and ate a meal all together. We usually just cook separately, so even this act, something that everyone does, was surreal. It was something we’d never done before but it was lovely. Though like everything it is a memory now and the fact that it was real hardly even seems true.

This last semester feels weird in itself. I can’t even pinpoint it. Something feels off. Perhaps it is the inevitability that this is the end and I won’t ever experience living like this again, perhaps its that we’ve all changed so much over these past seven months (seven months is that all, it seems like it should be, has been longer, it’s not enough), maybe its the stress of all these looming deadlines. I don’t know what it is, but something seems off. Maybe its just me. I think I am getting nostalgic and missing it before it has even ended.

I’m not ready to let go of first year. Not yet.